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My husband and I are middle class. Over the years we have spent on infertility and
adoption what should have been our retirement fund. Now, we’ve accumulated another
nest egg and we are going to risk it again on a medical procedure. Any fiscally sound
person would judge me to be crazy, but they just don’t know, do they? They just
don’t know the craving and longing deep within to have something every woman should
have, what I was born to think was my God given right and that was to have my own child.
I went for my first
appointment at the Infertility and IVF Center to meet Dr. Wilbois and his staff so as to
become educated about the protocol and procedures involving the IVF process, I found his
staff to be informative and professional, yet friendly and enthusiastic about what they
did. I was most impressed by their willingness to be helpful even if it bordered on
redundancy due to the repetitive questions that I asked.
Before my first visit,
I called Resolve, a national infertility advocacy group that offered referrals to
fertility specialists in my area. Resolve did have Dr. Wilbois listed among the physicians
that they recommended. I was also advised to obtain the most recent SART statistics which
specifically pertain to Dr. Wilbois’ Center. The numbers concerning IVF success rates
are published annually about all clinics in the U.S. I was additionally advised to obtain
references by speaking to former patients of the Infertility and IVF Center. I found
Resolve’s guidance and suggestions to be meaningful, thus I followed up on them.
Dr. Wilbois’
receptionist contacted several of his former patients and received permission from them
for me to call and chat about their experience. I received very positive feedback from
each patient. It was conveyed to me by those persons with whom I spoke that his staff is
genuinely caring and concerned about your comfort and very emotionally supportive
throughout the process. I, personally, found Dr. Wilbois to be down to earth and willing
to take the time to answer any question that I might have. Over time, I discovered Dr.
Wilbois to possess a friendly, jovial and comedic personality .
So, I forwarded all of
my voluminous infertility medical record history to Dr. Wilbois and submitted to various
blood tests that were necessary for evaluation purposes before we began the process while
we were still mulling over our decision whether or not to go forward.
May
Well, after reviewing
the success rates, speaking with the references and praying about the decisions I was
about to make, my husband and I decided that this avenue was what we had been seeking. I
compared the fee schedule of the IVF and Infertility Center to other fertility centers
locally and throughout the country. I found Dr. Wilbois fee structure to be the most
reasonable of them all. IVF was going to be the answer for us. We approached the
whole course of events with trepidation not knowing exactly what to expect. I was both
excited at the prospect of pregnancy and fearful that the IVF process might become too
difficult for me.
I went to the
Infertility and IVF Center for a more extensive look at the steps involved and received
all necessary information for a full protocol. For me, a full protocol would be more
extensive than IVF alone. I was receiving the premium services IVF, ICSI, PESA and
Assisted Hatching not because I am special but due to the fact that I had multiple reasons
for my infertility problems. I had endometriosis, a tubal blockage, and am hypo ovulatory
which means I don’t produce enough hormones for ovulation to occur. Additionally, I
am of advanced maternal age which decreases my fertility. Plus, my husband has male
infertility factor. I knew that the odds for success were not in my favor yet the protocol
felt comfortable. It was something I could do especially when the results could be so
phenomenal.
I was given training
and was shown a video by the nursing staff about how to administer injections. I brought
my needle phobic husband and a good friend as a back up person to train on the
injection administration. The staff was wonderfully supportive of my husband’s
squeamishness and he felt confident in his abilities once we left their office. I
didn’t understand his injection phobia, I was the one on the receiving end of the
needle!!!
For the next three
months, on my own I took prenatal vitamins and additional folic acid so that my baby would
receive prenatal nutrition before conception. I recommend from a prenatal preparation
perspective to refraining from smoking cigarettes, drinking alcoholic beverages and
consulting with Dr. Wilbois about any medications being taken. Also, I took birth control
pills continuously, without ceasing, to suppress my ovaries from functioning. (I did
experience a slight amount of breakthrough bleeding and that was because I did not take
the pill at the exact time every day, once I regulated myself on a schedule, the bleeding
disappeared) This action gave my ovaries a break before they would by hyper stimulated
with Metrodin. Taking birth control pills controlled the exact date in which we could
start the process so as to accommodate everyone’s schedules.
August
The day
has arrived to begin my injections. All the medicines I ordered had arrived. I am afraid
that the shots might hurt a little bit since I am self-administering my Lupron injections.
My hand shook and after the first one I realized how simple and easy it was. After
multiple laparascopies and other invasive infertility procedures, how tough, is this really.
Most importantly I resolved to myself that whatever it took, I was going to do it. I also
learned the importance of taking the injections at the exact same time each
day to maintain a specific blood level of the drug in my system.
What I find so helpful
is that The IVF and Infertility Center provides a pre retrieval calendar and a post
retrieval calendar with specific instructions and all details spelled out. I am determined
to stay on task with the schedule because after all the years of heartache, I want to do
everything I can on my part to ensure success, just as Dr. Wilbois and his staff are doing
everything on their part to assist me in creating that miraculous baby that I want.
September
The Lupron injections
are a breeze at this point. I feel like a pro. I am experiencing more oiliness on my face,
but that is one of the pre disclosed side effects. I am finding that after I administer
the injections though that my skin itches around the injection site so I called Dr.
Wilbois today about what I had noticed. He immediately called in a prescription for
Synarel which is the same drug in nasal spray form and he advised me to discontinue the
injections for I was experiencing an allergic reaction, not to the drug Lupron
itself but to one of the liquid suspension properties. I began the Synarel and all went
well, no more reactions. I wish I had known about Synarel from the start, I would have
preferred a nasal spray over self administered injections. However, Dr. Wilbois believes
in what he calls the "Gold Standard". He uses first what he believes to be the
absolute best method of administering the medications and opts for the other methods only
as a second choice.
I am excited. Today I
begin the fertility medicine. I am concerned about how my body will respond to the drug.
Will I produce a ton of eggs and maybe have some frozen left over embryos. I hope so but I
do need to be realistic. I only produced one follicle on the maximum dosage series of
Clomid. I realize that Metrodin works in the body differently and has better results but I
might be daydreaming about some unrealistic results. But, I can be hopeful.
I am still using the
Synarel twice a day, however, I begin the Metrodin injections this evening
at 5 pm. This is the time that my husband and I decided
worked best with our schedules. The important consideration is that we time these
injections the same each day for the 10 to 12 days that I receive the fertility drug.
We’ve just begun
to reduce the amount of vials per injection. I’m looking for that moodiness that
always accompanied Clomid but so far I haven’t found it. I even went so far as to ask
my husband’s opinion of my emotional state. This can be a risky proposition for his
responses are unpredictable often filtered with humor.
He’s complimented
me by saying that "I’m a sweetheart of a pincushion." He attempts to bring
humor into an otherwise humorless situation by pretending to be Hawkeye Pierce from MASH
or the doctor (Gene Wilder) from Young Frankenstein.
I am in really good
spirits, happy, excited, energetic and optimistic.
I’m beginning to
feel a little bit bloated, like just a few days before my menstrual cycle. This is a good
sign. I’m upbeat. I’ll bet I have some follicles developing.
I went for my blood
test and ultrasound. We saw 5 follicles. I’m so excited a huge grin bursts onto my
face. This is much better response than I ever had with Clomid. My body IS responding.
This is great. Dr. Wilbois did temper some of my excitement by advising me that not every
follicle means an egg is inside. The follicle could be empty. The risks of this occurrence
increases with age. I have to remember that I am considered of advanced maternal age even
though I feel really young at the moment. He also advised me that I would produce more
follicles. Based on the number of follicles at this point in the cycle I could have as
many as 9 follicles at retrieval.
Nine is a good number
for me, I can handle it. Nine is actually low for the average woman being stimulated with
these fertility drugs, but considering my history and age , 9 is a good number.
I am back for another
ultrasound and blood draw series. Well Dr. Wilbois is right on the money!!! He predicted 9
and there they are, 9 follicles exactly. He told me that they were at the correct size for
retrieval. So I discontinue the Metrodin and Synarel.
At precisely 9:30pm
tomorrow September 15, I am to receive the HCG injection so that the follicles will ripen
and be ready for retrieval which we have scheduled for 9:30am on Sept. 17.
I am ecstatic. I made
follicles. My body responded to the medication. I’ve never experienced this level of
follicular response before. All of the shots on the backside were not in vain. My husband
overcame his needle phobia. So far I feel good. I am not experiencing any negative side
effects other than some abdominal bloating.
I want this protocol to
work so badly that I wonder if I’m not a little extreme about the precise timing of
every injection. Picture this. My husband and I are in our bedroom (a.k.a. the shot admin.
room). We’ve synchronized our clock to alarm at 9:30 p.m.. At 9:25p.m., my husband
has drawn the syringe full of HCG liquid and prepared the needle. I’m laying on my
side on the bed with hip exposed, my husband sitting beside me syringe perched above me in
one hand and alcohol swab in the other. The alarm sounds, I say GO and I feel the cold
liquid swab and the stick into my fatty gluteus maximus, he draws back on the plunger,
then pushes forward. I feel the drug enter my body. We did it.
Now all we can do is
pray that each follicle has an egg, not only an egg but a good mature egg that could
potentially mean I would have extra embryo’s for frozen storage. I know that
the chances for that to occur because of my age are probably not very great but I can hope
anyway.
NO injections today. A
day’s reprieve. It’s nice. However, I am beginning to feel quite uncomfortably
bloated.
Due to the discomfort,
I am looking forward to having these follicles retrieved today, however, I feel anxious
because I don’t know what to expect. All of my past procedures have been under
general anesthesia in a hospital setting.
Today, though, I will
have the procedure done in the intimacy of a doctor’s office under IV sedation. Will
I feel pain? Will I be aware of everything going on around me? I wonder.
The office I was led
into for the retrieval was set up just like an OR, complete with a heart monitor. I felt
my anxiety lessen because the surroundings were familiar and appropriate for this type of
procedure.
I woke up with no
anesthesia after effects like grogginess or nausea. I gather it is one of the benefits of
IV sedation versus general anesthesia. The other benefit is that you don’t have a
sore throat because you do not have to be intubated ( a tube inserted into your
mouth , down your throat) because you are able to breath on your own
with IV sedation and not with a respirator as is the case with general anesthesia.
I feel NO pain,
absolutely none from this procedure. In fact, I feel relief because I was
not bloated anymore. I have no side effects from the anesthesia at all and practically no
post operative recovery was needed. I am not aware of anything that went on during the
procedure so I definitely was out.
I dress and then my
husband and I went into Dr. Wilbois office to discuss the findings of the procedure.
Out of the 9 follicles,
5 when aspirated resulted in no eggs. Out of the four eggs, 3 are good enough to attempt
to fertilize through ICSI. So basically, my ovaries yielded only 1 egg for every 3
follicles. That’s only a 33% return. I start to feel downtrodden. I must have shown
it because Dr. Wilbois looks at me and says don’t get discourage, it only takes one
fertilized egg to make a baby!
My hopes of frozen
embryos were gone. The IVF protocol for women my age feels that the best chance for
producing one baby is to transfer 5 embryos to the uterus.
My chances for success
were significantly reduced from 25% to less than 15%. My body just
didn’t respond as well as I’d hoped, but then I was familiar with this scenario.
My husband and I held
hands and gazed into each other’s eyes not really hearing all of the encouraging
words Dr. Wilbois was attempting to impart. We were both thinking similar thoughts. We had
to put the success of this baby making venture into God’s hands. The odds were
against us but we could still be triumphant. We had very capable doctors and many people
praying for us.
The laboratory director,
whisks the eggs off to the lab, where my husband’s sperm await their arrival, so he could
begin his end of the procedure. The retrieval was only a small part of what is going to
occur today. The ICSI procedure has to be performed on each egg. Thus, he injected each of
my eggs with one of my husband’s sperms, microscopically. It is an intricate
procedure, however, The Laboratory Director at the Center is very skilled.
I like the fact that the
lab is on site. I know that he cares about the success of each IVF patient because of
his extreme dedication. It is possible to find him in the lab culturing and checking on any
and all of the specimens any time day or night in a 24 hour period. It’s not unusual to find
that at 3 am (three am) he is in the lab because of the precise timing that is needed for the
embryos care.
I did not feel
comfortable with the procedures followed by some other IVF clinics that did not
provide an on site lab with a lab director completely immersed in every patient’s
care.
This morning at 5 am,
we began the twice daily progesterone shots. I know these are oil based and are not going
to be as easy as the others because they were a lot thicker consistency thus dispersing
through my tissue a little slower.
The first one
didn’t hurt, however, it was just ½ a cc. Which is a small amount.
Dr. Wilbois called me
this morning to tell me that the ICSI procedure was a complete success! We had 100%
fertilization. ALL 3 eggs fertilized!!!!
I now became more
excited about my prospects of becoming pregnant. Maybe this was more of a reality than I
thought possible yesterday. It’s amazing the difference 24 hours makes.
The doctor told me he
did not know how many of the fertilized eggs would cleave (which means begin to reproduce
cells ) until tomorrow but that he would contact me.
Dr. Wilbois called to
enthusiastically inform me that we had a 67% cleavage rate. This means that 2 fertilized
eggs began to reproduce and become embryos. He was excited for me because I had a 100%
fertilization rate and a 67% cleavage rate which are very high statistics. I am very happy
that I have two embryos.
He also advised me the
morphology for both ( their shape, size and appearance) were rated as excellent.
This is good news. It increases my chances of success. I feel more ardent about this
procedure working for me.
Tomorrow morning is the
BIG DAY. My embryos will be transferred into my body and I will be officially
pregnant (in my mind).
Up again at 5:00 am, I
have to roll over for another progesterone shot. That’s OK because I didn’t
sleep much any way. The injections are beginning to hurt now but I’m too thrilled and
excited about the embryo transfer today to notice.
I ready my adopted
child and take him to a very supportive and good friend’s house at 6:30 am so that we
could drive to The Infertility and IVF Center’s office in rush hour traffic to be
there at 7:30am.
We arrive, and before the
procedure begins, we are taken back to the lab to look in the microscope. My eyes widened.
I have an opportunity very few human beings on this planet will ever have and that is to see
life at conception!! I can’t believe my good fortune. I appreciate this
opportunity so very much. I’m not able to see just any life at conception , but my
child’s life at conception. To myself, I said bye bye little ones,
I’ll see you in 9 months.
My 2 embryos have been
prepared with Assisted Hatching. Dr. Wilbois then inserts them into the uterus, which
was a quick, simple and painless procedure.
This is it. The end
of the IVF road. In my mind’s eye, I am officially pregnant,
until someone or some test tells me I am not. I realize that implantation must occur for a
baby to result, but I have chosen to have a positive mental attitude.
I wait, lying
flat on my back, legs in stirrups for about an hour in the Drs. Office, then I am escorted
in a wheelchair to a waiting car with the passenger seat reclined all the way back so that
I can maintain my 24 hour bed rest that must follow this course of treatment.
I return home and proceed
immediately to bed with pillows propping my lower body up so as to sustain the required
position to aid implantation. I spend what seems like an interminable length of time laying
flat on my back. During this time, I read books about fetal development and growth, listen
to tapes, watch some TV and pray a lot. I also decide to utilize visualization therapy. It
is used most commonly to help seriously ill persons to aid their recovery. I close my
eyes and visualize my uterus ( it helps to have seen a picture of one), visualized my babies
(shown to me earlier that day in the lab.) and then imagine them traveling to the uterine wall
and burrowing in. I repeat this imagery several times. During my imagery, I am seeing one
burrow in.
I’m free to move
about. I did not realize how long 24 hours in bed could actually be. I feel confident.
There is something different about me, I can’t really explain it.
I feel
pregnant.
I went into Dr. Wilbois
office to obtain my progesterone test this morning. I am feeling so great physically and
mentally that I begin to doubt my initial confidence about being pregnant because I am
symptom free. I questioned the nursing staff at length about the symptoms I should be
experiencing right now. I am advised that it is too soon to feel anything, possibly,
I might experience some breast tenderness 1 to 2 days before my pregnancy test scheduled
for Oct. 4th. The staff gave me lots of reassurance and thoroughly answered all
of my questions. Every woman going through their program probably does the same thing.
The progesterone shots
in oil twice a day seem to have a residual effect. The injection sites are remaining quite
sore and I am finding it difficult to sleep on my sides or even to sit down . I call Dr.
Wilbois to request reducing down to one progesterone injection and one progesterone
suppository daily so as to total the two required doses of progesterone daily. He reminded
me of his "gold standard" for treatment and promised me that if I had a positive
pregnancy test on Oct. 4th that he would permit my suggestion to be put
into place. If pregnant , I have to continue the progesterone for 8 more weeks. If
not pregnant, then the progesterone is discontinued.
October
I CAN’T BELIEVE
WHAT I AM FEELING !!!!! I have breast tenderness. Hooray!!!! Never in my life have
I ever cherished breast tenderness for in the past it always signaled PMS and the
return of my menstrual cycle but not this time for the nurses told me I would feel this 1
to 2 days before my pregnancy test if I am really pregnant
I can’t wait
until tomorrow to find out. I just have to know. So I toyed all day with the
notion of going to the pharmacy and purchasing a home pregnancy kit. I talked to my
husband and we decided that we had done everything in our power to achieve the "gold
standard" of treatment, so, we are going to wait for the most accurate
pregnancy test, the blood test at Dr. Wilbois office.
This is it. Today
is the day. Have all of my efforts and those of the IVF and Infertility
Center’s staff worked? I’ll know today. I’ve prayed so hard and not ever
have I wanted anything as much as I’ve wanted this pregnancy in my life. I resolve in
my mind that even if it didn’t work, I made embryos, which hasn’t
happened before, so, I’ll try again if necessary.
I’m nervous,
scared, and excited. I feel very strongly that I am pregnant but the test will tell. I
arrive first thing in the morning to have the test. I leave and then wait for the phone
call. The minutes seem like hours while I am waiting for the results. I can’t seem to
focus on anything else, my eyes watch the clock.
Two hours later the phone
rings. It’s the Laboratory Director. He explains that Dr. Wilbois would not be in until later
in the day and he just had to call me with the results immediately. He congratulated me
and said my HCG level is 442. Anything over 10 means I am pregnant. He is so excited for me
that his Spanish accent seems to be exaggerated and I had a difficult time understanding
everything he said, but I don’t think I could have heard a word he said after he told me that
I am pregnant.
I’m shaking and
crying because I am so overjoyed with happiness and overwhelmed with emotion.
I start jumping up and down. I am walking 10 feet above the ground and I cannot
contain the excitement in my voice.
I hang up the phone and
dial my husband’s work number. He picks up and I practically scream with excitement
into the phone, CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE GOING TO BE A DADDY, WE’RE
PREGNANT!!!! I hear silence on the other end, when he does speak his voice is filled with
emotion and gratitude.
We have so much for
which to be grateful, especially the doctor’s and staff at the IVF and Infertility
Center. They did assist us in creating a miracle, the baby growing inside me.
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